If you are
an adult struggling with ADHD, you may find it difficult to manage and maintain relationships. This is more common than you may realize. In fact, many individuals with ADHD struggle with maintaining a relationship.
Many individuals, in general, struggle with maintaining relationships. However, adults with ADHD can find that there are ways to make relationships work. Here are some tips on how to make sure relationships are successful when you struggle with ADHD.
Your Doctor Can Help
You should never underestimate the power of your doctor to assist you as you attempt to do anything in life. You and your doctor should have already worked and created a treatment plan to address the issues that coincide with your ADHD. This includes ensuring that your diagnosis is accurate. There are many conditions that can exist with ADHD that can further impact your ability to form and maintain successful relationships. When the treatment plan that has been developed addresses ADHD and any other coexisting conditions that you may have successfully, then you are one step closer to having successful relationships. “Psychological assessments compare your child’s symptoms to the diagnostic criteria for ADHD. To get the best results, your doctor should use validated psychological rating scales,” Joel L. Young, M.D. says.
Positivity
One thing that can help is for you to be positive about your ADHD. There are a lot of good traits that come with having an ADHD diagnosis. Individuals with ADHD tend to be spontaneous and creative, have higher energy levels, and be better at problem-solving. These are more than likely the traits the other person has seen in you that got them to want to know you in the first place. It is important for you to remember that you do have good qualities. Other issues that you may be having aren’t able to weigh you down quite as much when you force yourself to focus on the positive.
Talk to the Other Person
Once you have been in a relationship with someone for a while, whether a friend or significant other, it is important that you talk with them about your ADHD. You want to discuss the issues that you have regarding your ADHD. Let them know if there is anything that they can do to help you manage your symptoms. For example, it is a bad idea to try to talk to someone with ADHD if they are angry. Many individuals with ADHD know that if you walk out of a room in the middle of a fight, it’s because you need time to calm down and think about a nicer way to say what you want to say. “They may appear withdrawn or not interested in others. They may also make social blunders due to a lack of awareness of others’ feelings or difficulty managing their own emotions,” Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D. wrote. If you are in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, talk to them about the things they do that is difficult for you to cope with. Make sure you remind them of the characteristics you love, though, so that they know you do care about them.
What should change?
You should ask yourself which of your behaviors you want to change more than anything. You can ask those in a relationship with you to assist you in changing that behavior. If you’re asking for help changing a behavior, try to choose one that is having a negative impact on the relationship. Work with the other person to find a way to solve the problematic behaviors that are interfering with your ability to get along.
Communication
No matter what type of relationship you are in, whether you have ADHD or not, communication is critical. Often, individuals with ADHD forget how important it is to talk to the other person in a relationship. According to Rick Nauert, PhD, “Emerging research suggests people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may face challenges when communicating and interacting with other people.” Some couples find it easier to discuss things on the phone. No matter what the setting is, you want to make sure that you and the other person have each other’s undivided attention while trying to talk. Some couples have even written notes to one another to say what they need to say. At least once a week, you and the other person in your relationship need to find time for communication. If there is no communication, there is no relationship.