My Counselor’s ADHD And Relationship Advice

ADHD or Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a mental health condition I have been dealing with for quite a long time. My ADHD symptoms are no different from those of people who are also experiencing it. There are also moments where I fidget and do not focus on a task. I easily lose concentration, and I am disorganized too. I also have this poor time management skills and a very short attention span. Overall, ADHD is simply a mental illness that sadly affected me.



I remember being different when I was a kid after I got diagnosed with ADHD. I view my condition as damaging at that time because it caused me depression. I immediately have these depressing thoughts where I always felt like people are only trying to put up with me because they feel sorry I have this attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. But honestly, that thought is something I can endure, though. It does not entirely bother me that I have it because great loving people still surround me. For me, that is all that matters.

However, there are instances that when people emphasize that I am mentally unstable, I get hurt and feel sad. That is where I view my condition differently. And right after I engaged in a romantic relationship, everything becomes so challenging that my condition somehow wants me to quit and let go of my feelings. So I went to seek help and asked my counselor about the things I can do to manage it. And here’s what she had to say.

End Distractions And Focus On Current Situation: One issue with my condition is my inability to focus. With ADHD, that is extremely difficult to handle. So my counselor told me that I should limit my exposure to the external commotion as much as possible. That way, I can only do limited things for a limited purpose. My counselor said that once I managed to put up a barrier on things I should and should not do, I will eventually learn techniques to minimize possible unwanted interruption. Thus, that would help me deal with more important things to me, specifically my relationship.


Develop Structural Habits And Keep It Up – Another issue with ADHD is organization. Sometimes, it includes a simple task like deciding which stuff is necessary and which requires disposal. My ADHD symptoms often create a decision-making issue and barrier between my partner and me because I believe I know what I want to do most of the time. But eventually, I find myself not following even the simplest instructions. With that, my counselor advised me to stick to a routine that I can manage. She said I could start by utilizing calendars for schedules. My counselor also said that I should create a space for myself to miss following some of the important things on my to-do list.

Stretch Attention Span And Work On Easy-To-Do Activities – ADHD can be very difficult, especially on certain occasions. It is entirely impossible to handle things all at once because ADHD somehow forbids me from multitasking. The main reason is because of the short attention span I have with everything. In some instances, it causes a relationship problem because my partner used to think that I don’t pay enough attention to our relationship’s needs. Thus, my counselor told me to practice stretching my attention span. She advised that I engage in writing and note-taking to guide me on active listening. She also said that I should engage in repeated verbal instructions to let words sink into my head if possible. My counselor said that these tips could help improve my focus and ability to follow instructions.


Manage Time And Run Errands Accordingly – I may be struggling with ADHD, but I can perfectly work and earn a job. I can work on a lot of things as most people do. However, there are just times that I get emotionally and mentally overwhelmed about everything. When that hits, my ADHD somewhat prevents me from communicating with my partner. It can cause many relationship issues, so my counselor advised me to manage my time accordingly. She said I should allow some time for myself once in a while. She said I also need to refocus and use my time wisely to avoid leaving other tasks behind. My counselor ensures that once I practice time management, it could lessen the complications I have with my job, daily task, and relationship responsibilities.

Exercise And Spend Some Time Outdoor – Exercise has the power to relieve stress, regulate mood, and calm the mind. That is why my counselor often tells me to be more active. She explains that exercise contributes a lot to managing excess energy and aggression that can get in the way of my relationship. She said I could start with simple stretching or yoga. My counselor also said that people with ADHD often benefit from sunshine and green surroundings. Thus, I should spend more time with nature to get that emotional and mental peace.