Having a child with ADHD is challenging. It entails added patience and understanding in relating
to your child. You also have to educate yourself further about your child’s condition. You have to
do all these for you to help your child to reach his or her full potential.
These hurdles are just one side of the pie. Another side of the pie is having to deal with an
the additional burden of overcoming marital struggles in bringing up a child with ADHD.
What if your spouse does not help you in bringing up your child with ADHD? What are your
options? Here are a few of the things you can do.
Talk It Out
Maybe your spouse is just having some personal issues that are why he or she is unable to
come to terms with your child’s condition.
You can never go wrong with having open and constant communication with your spouse.
Communicating with your spouse about anything and everything can lead your spouse to
what is bothering him or her. “If there’s a problem that you are trying to solve, communicate your ideas for solutions with tentativeness,” Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., says.
Your spouse not supporting you in the upbringing of your child with ADHD can be your spouse’s
coping mechanism with other life stressors.
You should take an active role in communicating with your spouse to bring a resolution to your
concern.
Build On Your Marriage
Your spouse could just be overwhelmed by the responsibility of having to raise a child with
ADHD.
Schedule regular date nights. Still, aim to build on your marriage even if you have a child with
ADHD. Do not let go of your relationship as husband and wife. “Romance isn’t a Caribbean cruise, an expensive meal, or a lavish gift. Rather, romance lives and thrives in the every day, little things,” Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., points out.
Another way to go about this is to…
Let Your Spouse In On The Information
One reason why your spouse is not helping out in supporting your child is that he or she does
not understand what ADHD is in the first place. Your spouse might be thinking that your child is
just acting out or just playing dumb.
There is much information on ADHD available both online and offline. It all boils down to one’s
interest to know what the condition is about.
What will you do when your spouse is not interested?
Ask your partner to join you during your child’s visits to his or her pediatrician or specialist. Let
them hear firsthand how they will be able to help your child cope with the condition. It may
take a little coaxing, but you will have to keep at it.
It is a potential first step in letting your spouse understand his or her role in your child’s
upbringing.
Get Your Spouse Involved
This involvement is the final step to getting your spouse’s full support.
Both mother and father have essential roles to play in the eyes of your child. Don’t just get all
the responsibility for bringing up your child. Thus, give your spouse some of the necessary tasks
like bringing your child to school or accompanying your child to his/ her psychiatrist. “Some lessons from parenting skills training which are particularly relevant to ADHD are: to structure situations in ways that will allow the child to succeed,” Ben Martin, Psy.D. wrote.
These tasks will build the rapport between your spouse and your child.
Working on having your spouse’s support may seem like a daunting task. Keep in mind,
however, that if they are not present in your child’s life now, it may have repercussions in your
child’s life later on.