Raising a kid with ADHD can strain your marriage, but if you have the proper steps to deal with the condition, the relationship can be saved from being broken. A happy marriage is one of the best gifts that you can give to your child. Studies suggest that a child may develop good friendships and romantic relationships when they grow up.
“For kids, ADHD can interfere with their school work, their relationships with other people, and how they view themselves in the world. These symptoms can persist into adulthood, causing work and relationship problems,” writes Dr. Kathleen Smith, PhD, LPC, a mental health journalist for popular websites like New York Magazine, Thought Catalog, Salon, and Slate.
In a study of 500 parents, a clinical psychologist at the University of Pittsburgh and their colleagues revealed that couples with ADHD kids are likely to get into a divorce even before their children reach eight years old. The good news is that they also discovered that there are strategies that could work to prevent divorce.
Here are seven ways to keep your marriage healthy, without stress and your children happy.
Stop Blaming One Another
When your kid has consumed your patience, instead of telling him to improve his behavior, you tend to turn the frustration toward your spouse. It hurts both the couples and even the child. The solution? The couple should learn to acknowledge the condition, accept its cause and learn how to manage and deal with it as a couple. The couple should learn how to cope at all costs.
Agree And Work Together
In a study that was conducted by Wymbs, it was discovered that the standard topics for arguments are sex, money, balancing home and career life, and chores in relation to handling your ADHD kid. This is a lot of stress on your part. It is pretty much true with the majority of the respondents of the study. To avoid arguments and misunderstandings, the couple should agree on a specific ADHD parenting method so that the two can deal with it in the same way and without any conflict. It is essential to find a parent-training class that teaches parents to work together.
Give A Little And Get A Little
It’s simple: Each of you must pick something that you like to do, and you schedule the activities within the week. It strengthens your bonding and improves your marriage as a whole. With this, you will learn to deal with the condition head on and even overcome it in time.
Tweak The Treatment Plan
Learn to manage your child symptoms, enumerate and practice the strategies that are working and leave those that are not good with your kid.
“Although there are many ways you can help a child with ADHD at home, you may want to seek professional help along the way. ADHD specialists can help you develop an effective treatment plan for your child. Since ADHD responds best to a combination of treatments and strategies, consulting several specialists is advisable,” shares Jeanne Segal, Ph.D and Melinda Smith, M.A.
Give A Shout Out To Your Spouse
Give credit for all the things that your spouse is doing. Same with your partner, he or she must also acknowledge your efforts in caring for your child. It lessens envy and increases each other’s confidence, which strengthens the marriage. Not counting each other’s effort should also help. Treat each other on equal footing.
Laugh It Off
Having a sense of humor in the family is a great help. Family fun activities may counteract many negative interactions that kids who have ADHD have as they struggle to do things at school or deal with adults.
Present A United Front
Show that both of you are helping each other, settling misunderstandings calmly, and correcting the wrongs that each other did without condemnation and other unnecessary, disrespectful acts. Have a regular conversation about your parenting style.
The Teachable Events In Disagreements
Appreciate teachable moments in disagreements. Clear conflicts in front of your kids, show respect, and say sorry when needed.
“Don’t shy away from talking with your child about ADHD. Help kids understand that having ADHD is not their fault and that they can learn ways to improve the problems it causes,” shares D’Arcy Lyness, PhD