preparing to raise a child is something that can be exciting as well as frightening. Many parents and expectant parents look for counseling, books, magazines, and even advice from other parents for the common Do’s and Don’ts of parenthood. But how can we tell whether or not we are good? Are we confident enough that we’re going to be great parents? How can we tell that we have been parenting well? Is it by the actions and behaviors of our children or the accolades we receive?
The human nature in us will want to compete or even go as far as to criticize the parenting skills of other parents. Although this is almost unavoidable, it is important to note that parenting skills and tactics should be dealt with on a case by case basis.
How can we be the best parents we can be? Well, yes, providing the basic necessities of food, clothing, and shelter is a given, but any childcare specialist, parents, and even children will tell you that’s just not enough. How, then, can we really delve into our parenting niche? Here are some tips on how to be the best parent you can be.
- Love Your Child
Never underestimate the power of love. Never withhold your love and affection from your child. We were designed as emotional beings, capable of accepting and showing love. Be the first person to show your child love, and in return, they will show it.
- Invest in Your Child
Your child/children are your investment. Never be reluctant to spend on your child. Spending on your child does not necessarily mean buying them the most fashionable outfits or the most recent gadgets. It simply means paying enough attention to your child’s interests and spending on them. Then, if you realize that the only thing your child does during the day is flick and frolic, enroll him or her in a gym so she can learn gymnastics. If the child enjoys watching cricket, buy him a cricket bat. If she likes reading, get that library card. That, my friend, is not spending but wise investing!
- Be Positive Thinkers
When it comes to your child, it’s always a sunny day. Find the positive in every situation, claim, and act upon them. Always be ready to speak positively on your child’s life and their endeavors. Perceive them to be successful doctors, lawyers, politicians, heroes, leaders, and truth seekers – and watch as these claims are materialized.
If minor accidents occur, Shiela Eyberg, PhD, advises it is best if a parent understands child development. “If parents understand that the child isn’t making a mess on purpose, but instead learning how to use their developing motor skills in a new way, they’re more likely to think about praising every step the child takes toward the ultimate goal,” she says.
- Get Involved in Your Child’s Life
Your child needs to know that you are their biggest supporter at all times. Never be too busy to support their interests and past times. Watch an episode of their favorite cartoon show with them, and play a little dress-up if need be. Always be willing to carpool to a soccer match, be at their play recitals, help them study for a quiz, or prepare for a competition. When you’re involved in your child’s life, your child will become more motivated to do well. Remember, the most expensive gift is time.
Additionally, John Lutzker, PhD, says, “We’ve found in our work over the past 20 years that if you do a good job teaching parents planned activities training, there’s no need for time-outs.”
- Be a good role model
“Children live what they learn.” This is not just a saying we hear constantly, but it is a fact. Children are like sponges and blank canvases ready to be painted on. Their young minds are susceptible to just about everything. They practice what they see, and they see what you practice. Therefore, portray strong and ethical principles, and they, too, will emulate them. Try to be a forgiving person, kind-hearted, brave, and caring, and these characteristics will surely be reflected in your child’s life as well.
According to Alan E. Kazdin, PhD, “A way to get time-out to work depends on ‘time-in’—that is, what the parents are praising and modeling when the child is not being punished.”
- Listen
Never be too busy to lend your child a listening ear. Ask them how their day was, what they want to do. This gives them the opportunity to express themselves and voice their opinion. Do not just hear them, listen to them, and value their opinions. Ask them what color to paint the bedroom, what dress they prefer to wear today. Help them to understand that their voices should be heard and that their opinions matter.
- Avoid Comparisons
The minute we see our child’s life through the eyes, opinions, and actions of others is the minute we start to fail as parents. No two children are the same. This, therefore, means that what goes for the goose may not necessarily go for the gander. Be patient with your child and allow them to grow in their own steps at their own pace- not at the time that you think they should. This tip goes for the child as well as for you. Do not question or compare your parenting skills with that of another parent. Be YOU, and do what works best in your interest and that of your child.
- Show Some Tough Love
“He who spareth the rod, hateth his son, but he that loveth him, correcteth him betimes.” Prov. 13:24 There’s no all-year sunny weather when it comes to parenting. There will be times when disciplinary measures must be taken. These measures may not necessarily be physical, but at all times, your child must know who the boss of the household is and be trained to adhere to rules and guidelines or face the consequences.
These are some fundamental tips. Don’t be afraid to add your own little twist to them. The possibilities are endless. Be the best parent you can be; your children will thank you for it!