Relationships are rewarding under the right circumstances, but one must still invest their blood, sweat, and tears into the ordeal to make it work. There are just so many factors that one must account for. The ordeal can get more complicated when ADHD is involved. However, the relationship isn’t necessarily doomed because of that. Here are some ways you can save your relationship when one has ADHD.
- Take Control Of The Condition
Make sure to have a long talk with your partner and plan ways to control and manage the condition instead of letting it control your relationship. Utilize the appropriate therapies or medication available to handle it. “It’s important, then, to know how to set limits,” David D. Nowell Ph.D. says.
On the other hand, it is always best to consult a professional before undergoing a specific plan of action. Seeking help is all right, and one shouldn’t be afraid or embarrassed to ask for it, especially someone with ADHD.
- Be Aware Of How You Communicate
Some people are very oblivious to how they communicate with their partner. Especially when your partner in the relationship has ADHD, it is critical to be mindful of the way you interact with your partner. According to Mark Bertin M.D., “People with ADHD also often make tangential comments in conversation, or struggle to organize their thoughts on the fly.”
Pointing fingers and placing blame are things that you should try to avoid. That behavior will only make your partner more defensive. Instead, try asking your partner nicely or offer to do tasks together.
- Slow Down Every Once In A While
People with ADHD are often busy and running all over the place as if there’s no tomorrow. There’s always a project to finish, a meeting to attend to, or a task to manage. Whatever the case may be, it wouldn’t hurt to relax, slow down, and take time to think. “Recent research suggests that when done regularly, meditation stimulates neural growth, thus debunking the long-standing notion that adults don’t form new brain cells,” Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D. notes.
Reserve some alone time between you and your partner, and appreciate your surroundings as the world goes by. It’s a fantastic way to relieve stress as well.
- Clean Up The Mess
Especially when you and your partner decide to live together, maintaining an organized and clean space does wonders for one’s outlook and behavior. Set some time to clean out your rooms and organize your stuff. It’s also an opportunity for you two to bond together and understand more about one another. Your partner will also learn, and hopefully make it a habit, to pick up after himself or herself in the future.
ADHD is still a significant factor that one must account for in a relationship, and science has tons of research to do to understand the full extent of this condition. However, having this condition is indeed no excuse for a bad relationship.
Always keep in mind that there is still a soul underneath the disorder, with different dreams and fears, just like any other person. Establishing trust and communication is always important, after all.
Thus, talking to your partner about his or her weaknesses, as well as how to improve on them, will make your relationship go a long way. However, even if your partner has ADHD, it doesn’t mean that you can blame everything on your partner.
You should also assess your shortcomings and listen to your partner when he or she brings them up. A good relationship is built on both people taking responsibility for their actions.