Parenting a child with ADHD is never easy. Their brains are wired differently than the other kids of the same age. In fact, brain scans show that their brain is actually three years behind their peers. Understanding their condition is very important. According to Jay Belsky, Ph.D., “Rewards are more effective than punishment when dealing with children.”
If you want your child with AHD to behave better, there are so-called behavior motivations that you can do to help your child. They are sometimes called rewards and consequences. You need to know that rewarding your child is not the same as bribing them. It simply means that when your child correctly does what you told him/her, she/he will earn a reward for it. Consequences are not punishments. They simply mean withholding a reward that you are supposed to give your child because of an inappropriate behavior, and your child is given an explanation of why this is the case. “Most children are motivated by positive feedback of any kind from grownups, and targeted praise and reward can help improve behavior all on their own,” Dr. Mark Bertin, MD, explains.
Below are some tips on how you can do the reward system:
Reward Chart
Make a chart wherein you can list down the good behaviors that can make your child earn tokens. Once they reach the number of tokens required or if their jar is full of tokens already, they can earn something like the toy they want, or they can go to the movies. “Star charts are useful for reinforcing positive behaviors such as being ready for school on time, brushing their teeth, or having a day without incidents at school,” Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D., says. The goal here is to reduce the inappropriate behaviors and to encourage the good behaviors of the child.
Cash
Depending on the age level, sometimes cash is a good motivation factor to make your child do what you say. Simply make a chart of tasks that your child needs to complete. For every task, they earn coins, and for every task taken for granted, coins will be deducted from their pool of cash or allowance.
Sleepovers or Play dates
Another good motivation depending on your child’s age is time with friends. They get to play and have fun or do some sleepovers once they have completed their tasks such as homework.
Special Time with Parents
Special date with parents can also be a good reward. Like if they behave or if they earned enough good behavior points, you can make your child choose what kind of activity they want to do with you. Maybe a lunch out to a resto they like or a hobby they enjoy doing.
Gadgets Time
Kids nowadays are so into gadgets and the internet. Make this their motivation to behave well by giving them the time they can freely use their iPods, cell phones, TV, and the internet.
Treats
A reward can be as simple as treating your child to his/her favorite ice cream or chocolate after doing a house chore or school work.
Wish List
Another good motivation is by creating a wish list of your child. Ask them to make a list and for every good behavior, they can earn points. Once their points are enough for a certain wish on their wish list, they get to have that wish.
Positive Feedback
An intangible reward you can use to make your child behave or act better is the use of positive messages and feedback. If they did something nice, remember to appreciate and praise them. Send them simple but positive messages. But remember not to over-praise as well.
